Our usual prayer walk didn't go according to plan last week and I can't say I'm upset. Recently I've realized something about myself I may end up needing to work on. I loathe making plans; Avoid the task with every ounce of willpower in my body. For whatever reason, the thought of making a decision (or multiple decisions as plans tend to require) in advance makes me squirm. I can't imagine being the same person in the future that I am today. Why would I want to decide a path for a future self that will inevitably have more experience and new interests than my present self? Even more so, however, I can't stand deviating from my plans once they're made. It's so incredibly painful to make the plan in the first place that not following it through feels like murder.With this in mind, you can imagine my initial attitude toward the unexpected change in last Thursday's agenda. As I said though, I'm not even a little upset. Anymore.
Thursday afternoon Jeremiah and I sat in the living room at Moon Base waiting for our crew to arrive. It was a gorgeous day and we were excited to take advantage of this rare sighting of the sun. As we waited, we got a few texts in response to an earlier reminder/invite we sent out that started to worry us. We sat around another hour to give any stragglers time to show up, but no one came. At this point we were disappointed. And grumpy about our disappointment. A prayer walk was not in line with this mood of ours.
Every Thursday evening Reality, the church who's parking lot we commandeer whenever we park downtown, holds a church service. I suggested we head there before our walk and get in on some worship. My hope was that a good song and some wiggling would lift our spirits. Jeremiah and I have an aversion to the whole idea of "church" being confined to a building. It comes from past experiences at church, and our present experience with Oly Acts. Anyway, the idea of going to a "church" made us even my grumpy. The idea of worship enticed us though. We set out for the park by Capitol Lake with our Bibles, guitar, and djembe in hand.
For the next hour or so, we sat in the grass and sang to God. For inspiration, we flipped through Psalms until we found something to relate to. A chapter caught Jeremiah's eye so we made the verses rhyme and he made up a guitar tune. I sang or drummed along as I felt inclined. We began with that gloom cloud still hanging over us. Singing sounded far from thrilling, but we did it anyway. After singing long enough to feel our hearts grow content, we found a new Psalm. By the end, our skies were sunny again. We sang loud, out of key, out of rhythm, and full of joy. If we could have continued to read our Bibles in the dark I doubt we would have stopped.
As we packed up our gear and moseyed back to our car, my phone rang. Kendal was calling to find out our whereabouts. "See you in about three minutes," he said after I explained. Kendal and Josiah arrived at our car the same time we did. Turns out there was a latte art throw down at Espresso Parts that evening. Considering that majority of Oly Acts consists of baristas, it was no wonder the crew hadn't shown up at Moon Base. A glance at my phone would have told me this, but in my gloomy mood I'd tossed my phone aside and chosen to ignore it.
Before we went home, Josiah, Kendal, Jeremiah, and I walked down to 4th Ave for a hot dog at Jake's. Great walk, amazing chat. We even sang songs on the way back to our car (by we I mean mostly Jeremiah and Kendal). Overall, the evening was enlightening. I learned that A) I can't sing and drum at the same time. No way no how. And B) Plans are neither necessary nor trivial. If they can be avoided, I plan to avoid them. If they can be broken, I plan to break them. But if the opportunity presents itself to devise a plan that will give me peace of mind and something to work toward, then I plan to devise to my heart's content. I can't rationalize this any further, but I stand behind what I've written. Now, to see if I can follow my own advice.
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